August 11th, 2008


well last time i posted i was about to move in with my father. well that did happen and ive been here for 6 months now. and i like living with him. im much calmer and i enjoy the simpler things in life. but i hate my job and i miss my boyfriend like absolute crazy. the first few months were easy. i dont know why. now i think because i hate my job so much i just miss him so much more than i thought i would. i actually feel like i love him more now than i ever have. we have been together for 4 years now. and i just want to move in with him and get married. but with how expensive living is these days i dont see it ever happening. i want to travel and see the world and i want him to want that too but he doesnt. my aunty lives in switzerland and i could easily go and stay with her for a month but i think it would be a little stressful on whatever job i have at the time.
i want to be an actress. i hate saying that, i know because it sounds ridiculous, but in all honesty i would not give a shit about the money. i could be earning what i do now and id be happy. i just love the whole scene of it. the camaraderie the closeness and getting to be so many different people in one life. sure the money would be great but the paparazzi would do my head in. i would settle for any part of the entertainment industry simply because i am one of the biggest movie buffs you will ever come across and when i sit there and watch a movie or a tv series i just want it more than anything.
my dad is being supportive, telling me that if i want it i should go for it, but i dont know how. besides im not skinny and beautiful how the hell would i manage?
a weird part of me misses school. misses the friendships and the fact that you had less responsibility but then again i like having money and just coming home and being able to do whatever the hell i want and not having to worry about homework, ill tell you what its making me change my mind about uni. and idea that was set in stone until i failed my HSC miserably.
my b/f is going to be a paramedic, that much is set in stone. and up until recently i really wanted to be a criminologist and the idea is still appealing to me but no where near as much as before and i dont want to settle for something less. i will not be my mother!
anyway i think thats enough for now.
ill pop back in when i remember.
  • Current Music