October 14th, 2008

my plan

its raining where i am. i love the rain.
my family thinks im weird because i like night better than day and winter better than summer. its not that i dont like the summer i just cant stand it when its so hot your uncomfortable. and i sweat easily (gross i know) and when i get overly hot i just freak out. and while i also hate being cold and it makes my hair frizzy i just love the rain. i went camping in january this year and it was absolutely torrential rain the 7 days that we were there. some parts of the camping ground got completely washed out, it was incredible.
but anyway onto other things.
as i have mentioned in previous entries i am struggling currently with my job and living with my dad and not seeing my b/f etc.
usually sundays are incredibly hard for me. i have to leave my boyfriend and then prepare myself for a job that i absolutely despise. actually i would probably like it more if i was living with the boyfriend.
i have come to the conclusion that i want to work part time. yes, its a pay cut but its still a HUGE increase on what i was earning when i was working during school but at the end of the day im not happy with the way my life is at the moment. i miss things to much and i feel like i really rushed into things. i need to slow down enjoy being young before i get old. i shouldnt feel this way and stress as badly as i do.
all of the people that i was friends with in school are basically at uni all the time and working one or two shifts a week. they are living on a tiny amount compared to me.
i know i will probably miss the money but at the end of the day its what i need to do now to be happy. i dont want to sink into depression (ive been there before and it feels like im headed that way again) again and i think a few small sacrifices are worth my peace of mind and emotional happiness.
anyway i have to blow dry my hair now and go sleepies.
ready for work tomorrow. hump day. only two days till is see the boy!
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