March 7th, 2009

a friend named N

why am i greeting you in french you may ask? well there is good news, my aunty who lives in france has gotten me a summer job at her workplace so i will be spending 2 and a half months with her. beyond exited. almost got my passport organised (they are more expensive than i thought by the way)and i was expecting to have to pay for my ticket as well but apparently my dad is taking care of that for me. mind you i still need a job for a few months to save up some money, but i will be paid while im over there. im just on the web now trying to look up hotels in paris and rome etc for weekend trips that we are going to take.
anyway onto other things, there is one main thing that i want to discuss. the boy and i have a mutual friend, lets call him N. N has known the boy since they were about 8 and for a while in high school they werent as close but over the last couple of years or so they have become good friends again and since i am always around the boy i have become very good friends with N also.
N is odd, he is smart and he likes old literature but he isnt very straight forward, in order to explain a simple thing he will take the longest way around and try his hardest to confuse you, and it usually works! he likes being different, out of the ordinary, i think he does it to distract from the fact that he is incredibly good looking. i know awkward right? the best friend of the boy and you are attracted to him. but thats the funny thing. while i find N attractive i can never look at him like that. like some guys i meet and i think are hot and i wonder, what would they be like to kiss? but i have never really thought that about N which i suppose is a good thing.
N and i are easy around each other, every friday night, N the boy and i go out to play pool (i win at least one game a night thanks to N's tuition.)funnily enough though the thing that we talk about the most when we are out are which girls are hot in the room. his taste is rather bizarre. its almost like he chooses the ones that look different than normal standards deliberately just to be different. either way i have fun either agreeing with him or not. its the most amusing though when i go off to dance and he will come running to me to show me a hot girl. it takes me a moment to get over the giggles but then i usually agree. i like the fact that he is attracted to the odd redhead (his last girlfriend was one) but mainly brunettes and almost never blondes (yessssssssssssssss). anyway his most recent girlfriend was one that always had us wondering what the hell? she was a nice enough girl, a bit melodramatic though, and in blunt terms no where near attractive enough for him. everyone knew that she had had a crush on him forever and when they finally got together we all figured N was bored and thought he would give it a try. i used to have fun with it though because N would spend more time with me that he did with her while we were at school and i knew that it used to give her the shits. anyway about 6 months after they started dating N said to me that he wanted to break up with her. but he wouldnt because he has this bad thing where he wont just dump a girl. he has to somehow work it to his advantage so that he doesnt look like the bad guy, work it so that she wants to break up with him too. most of the time it worked but i knew it would never work with this girl, she had wanted him for too long. it got to the point where he wouldnt say i love you and when he did it was no where near often enough and apparently she wanted more.
over the last few months though and after almost a year and a half of dating N has attempted to just plainly break up with her several times cuz he was over it. but each time he has backed out and admitted to me that he was chicken shit.
but in the last couple of weeks they had made it clear to each other that it was getting pretty hard and they didnt know if it was going to work out,
so get this, last night when he told me about the recent news i said that he was using her. he didnt understand how this was so, he thought he was protecting her feelings by not breaking up with her. i said, so your with her when you dont want to be, you tell her you love her but you dont, you have sex with her but your not using her? and he said that he's not. i dont understand what his reasoning was but anyway his girlfriend came to where we were playing pool last night and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
then tonight just minutes before i started writing this, N comes over to play playstation with the boy. Immediately i can tell something is up but i dont bother asking because i figure he is a boy and he'll never admit it even if something is wrong.
He hands me a book that he said he would get me because the writing is just beautiful, its Perfume by Patrick Suskind. Then he says that him and his girlfriend broke up the night before. (!!!!!!!!!)
I dont ask any questions figuring that he will tell me when and if he wants too. then he admits that he doesnt feel anything regarding the relationship. i resist the urge to point and say 'i told you so.' because i have always said that it would be easier to break up with her if he didnt feel anything towards her anymore, but dont.
I guess i won the argument last night though, apparently the girlfriend thought the same thing. well that and he wouldnt give her 'more' whatever that is.
au revoir
  • Current Music
    Kevin Rudolf