If you dont visit every Sunday, start now! its where people send in "postcards" with their secrets on them and Frank Warren the creator posts them on his blog. he also hosts seminars but i dont really know what is discussed. anyway i have started creating some of my own. i intend to send them too him but im a little paranoid. Either way ill start giving you sneak peeks too....

Music is a huge part of my life, massive. And while im not musically gifted i know that there isnt a single day that goes past without me listening to music. I just love falling completely into the way it makes me feel. And how there is a distinct difference in the way a good song can make you feel and the way a great song makes you feel. 
I love hip hop, the rhythm and how it makes you just want to dance. But on the other hand i love songs that have meaning and that make you feel something, in your heart and in your head.
For instance, i cannot listen to "Fix You" by Coldplay without crying.

For Your Entertainment.

tainment in any form. Reading, music, television and movies. I just get so drawn into it all that i wish i was there in any given moment seeing and feeling what the characters do. Now i dont know if this is a reflection on me and my life or just that i enjoy it so much that i want a piece of it too.
So we will go through what i have been reading, watching and listening to of late. We'll start with television:

1. Friday Night Lights

Yes, yes, i know im a little behind seeing as they are in th
e fourth or fifth season in the states but we only have one season available here. I kept seeing stuff about the shows and its actors all over the celebrity sights that i went too and i knew that the girl that plays Jess in Supernatural was in it (as Tyra and she is sassy and brilliant) as was Taylor Kitsch who plays Pogue in The Covenant, and who i admit i have a bit of a crush on. He plays running back i believe in the show and i love him, he's just sort of blase towards everything, he knows he's good and hot but he doesnt put it on display like say, Smash, great name and he's a great character but i mainly love how him and his on screen mum interact. 'I love you mama' - 'I love you too baby.' 
It is based on the book and movie of the same name and it does take some direction from 'Remember the Titans' (which is one of my favourite movies) with their star Quarter back being paralyzed. but
still it makes for excellent viewing pleasure. The only thing that gets to me is a bit of a contradiction. Matt Saracen, sweet, cute kid and finding his feet on the field but all the stuttering and mumbling is getting a bit grating.
The DVD cover says 'One of the best acted, best produced, best written shows on television.' and i have to agree. Now though i have no idea how to get my hands on the other seasons and have them be playable here.

"Give all of us gathered here tonight the strength to remember that life is so very fragile. We are all vulnerable and we will all at some point in our lives fall; we will all fall. We must carry this in our hearts…that what we have is special. That it can be taken from us and that when it is taken from us we will be tested…we will be tested to our very souls. We will now all be tested. It is these times…it is this pain that allows us to look inside ourselves."

2. Kyle XY

Ok, yes i did finish watching this a little while ago and while i admit that i did enjoy it i can also see why the ABC cancelled it. It became more centered around teenagers and their never ending issues than it did with the whole mystery thing like it started. First off Matt Dallas is gorgeous, that smile, those eyes. Makes me go goo goo every time, but i found myself thinking that he wasnt a very good actor. But then i saw him in snippets of another show Eastwick (another ill fated journey for Mr. Dallas) and i realised that he doesnt always have to talk as robotically as Kyle. I think it was just part of Kyle's character.
So things that i loved about the show. The family for starters, i mean they are great, seriously, but nobody is that nice. Amanda and Jesse i only liked sometimes and Lori while fun was just no where near attractive enough for Declan. (Nor is Amanda for Kyle for that matter) I did get alot of amusement from Hilary though. But my favorite character by far was Josh. He was hilarious.
It was sad that the show had to end before things wrapped up and i think they made a big mistake by finishing it where they did (with Cassidy saying that him and Kyle were brothers) the ABC had to know in advance that they were being canceled and they should have done everything that they could to wrap it up for the fans. But never mind. A show that ended but a good show never the less.

"Memories are a way of keeping the past alive. Some are so painful that we never want to visit them again. But a memory can also be a gift, something we can open again and again in order to fill ourselves with happiness. And sometimes a moment becomes a memory the instant that its happening, because it is so true, so pure and so significant that you want to capture it forever."

3. One Tree Hill
Everybody knows how much i adore one tree hill. It is my favourite show, hand down and i have no idea why it wasnt so popular her in OZ. i was quite surprised by the fact that i didnt care so much that Lucas and Peyton werent coming back. I guess i was sick of their backwards and forwards all the time. And the marriage and pregnancy thing were, again, as always in television a bit of a stretch. But still, Sawyer Brooke Scott (almost as stupid as Renesmee) and mummy and daddy drive off into the sunset even though they are leaving all of their best friends behind.
Season 6 i greatly enjoyed. While Quentins death made me ball like a baby (a-la- season three 'With tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls we slept - Keith and Jimmy's death) the episode in which his funeral is in, 'Get cape, wear cape, fly' is spectacular, everyone acting is stand out. And the scene where Quentin's little brother stands with the team in his brothers jersey, so tiny. cry cry cry.  But its great to watch James Lafferty and how far he has come as an actor, and how far Nathan has come on the show. Another one of my fave's is where Nathan goes to trials and how the coach says 'Shame how you've let yourself go Nate.' Cuz day-um does Nate look fly or what.
I've never been a big Peyton fan and for the hottest girl in the school Hilarie Burton just doesnt fit the title and watching her hair go from long and blonde to this weird shade of red was really annoying. I still stand by season three Peyton with the short straight hair. That was her look.
Oh and just a note, Hayley and Nathan's sex scene and Peyton and Lucas's wedding. HOT!
Season 7 starts off a year and a half after season 6, mainly because Jackson Brundage, who plays the adorable Jamie was just starting to look to old for a 6 year old when he was pushing 10. Brooke and Julian are still together, Hayley is trying to save Red Bedroom Records with the departure of Peyton, Hayley's sister Quinn shows up announcing she is getting a divorce and a woman named Renee claims she slept with Nate on the NBA road and is 3 months pregnant with his baby. All very dramatic.
Character i dislike- Alex, girly, stupid annoying. And Millie is starting to get that way too.
As always Brooke is a Riot.

Quentin Fields was a basketball player. He was also a son, a brother... Somebody's teammate, somebody's friend. I didn't know Quentin Fields, and I guess now I never will. Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? If you were suddenly gone, how would your world react? Whatever you imagined is wrong. There's nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean... it's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet, persistent, unfair... Diminished by time and fate and love. I didn't know Quentin Fields, but I'm jealous of him. Because I see how his absence has affected the people that did know him, so I know that he mattered to them, and I know he was loved. People say Quentin Fields was a great basketball player. Graceful, fluid, inspiring. They say on a good night it almost seemed that he could fly... and now he can.
OK so Bones, i got to admit i do watch this show for the interaction between Booth and Brennan. I wish they would just have sex already. Or maybe that has already happened. i am a little behind. I have all four seasons that are available and i love them. I am intrigued by all the technology and while Tempe and her lack of people skills is just becoming slightly north of stupid, David Borenaz and his portrayal of Seeley Booth rescue it.

"You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, thats the sad truth. Maybe they'll break your heart, maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. Thats the burden. Like wings they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs, but they are a burden that lift us. Burdens that allow us to fly."

Now we shall move onto books. I am a book worm, i will admit that. I love everything that comes with a book but mainly i just love how i can put myself in their world. Thats why i write, to escape. and also so i can make boys however i want! lol

So recent books.
1. Shiver - Maggie Stiefvater
i was hesitant at first about reading this book. the werewolf thing was what drew me in but their were mixed reviews and i think they were correct. It wasnt what i thought. And i thought the author rushed the love between Sam and Grace. Grace was attacked by wolves 6 years ago and technically, she learns that she should have turned into what Sam is, a wolf bound to change with the seasons until his time is up and he wont change anymore. Just remain a wolf forever. Sam is the one that saves Grace from his pack that day and he has watched her ever since, not that he really knows her, everything you remember as a human becomes more than foggy once you transform.
Now that Sam has been changed back even though he wasnt meant too, he needs to try and stay warm in order to stay human, and now that he has Grace he wants to remain human, forever. And to do this they must take drastic measures. They figure that the reason Grace never turned was because she was locked in a car, the heat so sweltering, but she didnt die. they adapt this theory to Sam and it works. a sequel is in the works and while i wouldnt give this book 5 stars i will definitely read it. 

"I am alone in the world, and yet not alone enough to make each hour holy. I am lowly in this world, and yet not lowly enough for me to be just a thing to you, dark and shrewd. I want my will and i want to go with my will as it moves towards action. And i want, in those silent, somehow faltering times, to be with someone who knows, or else alone. I want to reflect everything about you, and i never want to be too blind or too ancient to keep your profound wavering image with me. I want to unfold. I dont want to be folded anywhere, because there, where i'm folded, i am a lie." - Rilke

2. Evermore - Alyson Noel
Enter Ever Bloom, the soul survivor of a car crash that killed her mother, father, sister and dog. Since that crash she has been able to read peoples thoughts and see their 'aura's', a coloured cloud that surrounds them, giving away their mood and thoughts. She can also know everything by just touching a book for example, and gather someones life story by touching them. She also sees and talks to her dead sister on a regular basis.
Its not a new concept but the author rights it well. Teenage girls who read this will fall in love with Damen. Tall, dark, handsome, and as we learn, immortal. He has made Ever an immortal too, the day of the crash he saved her and it turns out that they have quite a history together, adding up to a total of 400 years where Damen has come across several different incarnates of Ever but each time she is killed but another rogue Immortal named Drina kills Ever each and every time because she can no longer have Damen.
although the idea is not original Alyson Noel makes it work and the love between Damen and Ever is believable.
The character of Miles is likeable whilst the character of Haven is one of the most annoying characters i have ever come across.
As an immortal you can 'manifest' things, anything you want, but it takes practice and as an immortal you must live on immortal juice. All a bit of a stretch and from the reviews ive read not a very popular book. In fact i cant even find a memorable quote to insert here, so its ruined my rhythm.
The second book in the series however, Blue Moon, is crap and i couldnt finish it.

3. Along For The Ride - Sarah Dessen
I am a fan of Sarah Dessen, granted this is only the second book ive read of hers but they always strike a chord with me. I know alot of teen books are based on issues but alot of the time the girls and guys say things that real people would never ever say and i think in a sense thats why we love them. Its why i love them! But with Sarah Dessen, there is no stretch everything can be believed as having been said.
Ok so Auden West is perfect, she's a straight A student, the daughter of divorced scholar parents, both writers, she just graduated from a school with no more than 100 students and doesnt know how to be a teenager. But thats never bothered her before.
Her father gets remarried and his new wife has just had a baby (Thisbe, the father believes that a names makes a person, stupid i know) and Auden has the sudden desire to go and spend the summer with her father, his new wife Heidi and baby Thisbe (who Auden affectionately nicknames Isby) at their house on the beach. There she meets, Maggie, Esther and Leah who while getting off to a rocky start ultimately become her friends. She makes out with Jake on the beach, which is very unlike her, on her first night there and then she meets Eli. Eli is older than Auden and lost his best friend in a car accident (Eli was driving) a year ago. Eli used to be a pro bike rider and had scholarships and everything, but since the accident he hasnt ridden, well in comps at least, Auden sees him late one night and Eli likes her because she doesnt give him the look that everyone else does because of what happened to Abe.
Neither sleeps at night. Audens insomnia is rooted from her parents fighting all the time and we have to assume that Eli's comes from the accident. Everyone is shocked to find that Eli and Auden talk and Auden has actually seen Eli ride and together they embark on a 'quest' to get Auden to do things she never did as a kid. go bowling, go clubbing, ride a bike.
Towards the end when things start to heat up between her and Eli, Auden gets scared and backs off, not sure of how to act. But of course everything works out for the best, and not just for Auden and Eli but for ever character in the book. I read this in a day. Fantastic.

"Watching him, I thought, not for the first time that night, that maybe it should have felt strange to be with him, here, now. And yet it didn't, at all. That was one of the things about the night. Stuff that would be weird in the bright light of day just wasn't so much once you passed a certain hour. It was like the dark just evened it all out somehow.
The night changed things, widening out the scope. What we said to each other, the things we did, they all took on a bigger meaning in the dark. Like time was sped up and slowed down, all at once."

4. Hush, Hush - Becca Fitzpatrick
I sadly and very much so judge books by their cover. if their is a boy and a girl then its a go ahead basically but i had to admit the cover of Hush Hush drew me in regardless of any reviews that i read. But come on it was about a fallen angel it had to be good right?
I did like this book, but like Shiver and Evermore the same thing about hush hush annoyed me. That one minute it was the male and female leads hating each other or not knowing each other and the next BAM they were in love.
Patch and Nora took a little longer to seal the deal but at the end of the day the undeniable attraction was there.
Patch is classic, a bad boy to the core, a rogue angel, fallen because he fell in love and wanted to be with the girl. Nora is the good girl and everything about Patch at the start irks her, his confidence, his attitude and even how good looking he is.
I really wanted to LOVE this book, i did. For a debut novel, though, its a solid effort. But i felt like all the revealing was left to the last minute. It was all a bit of a rush to reveal everything in a couple of chapters. Nora and Patch didnt get together early enough and frankly the whole Chauncey, half angel, half human, Nora being his decendant, Patch wanting to kill Nora but he needs to saver her at the same time *deep breath* all got a bit confusing especially since it was all blurted out in one hit instead of taking its time.
While i did like the fact that Patch didnt go all mushy and profess his love for Nora in each chapter (because he didnt at the start) part of you always secretly wants that
The thing thats annoying me with all these young adult reviews that im reading is that they are all saying that its a rip off of Twilight. Why because its always the guy who is immortal/vampire/fallen angel/werewolf, this is true. But unless his is a vampire then its going to be different. You cant just say that because the guy is a fabled creature/human and he falls in love with a girl that it is a rip off because let me tell you, vampires and other creatures falling in love with girls was around long before stephenie Meyer. But thats not to say that i dont adore the twilight series because i do i just wish people would stop looking at other books, scoffing and saying 'OMG, like, totally a copy of, like, twilight.' When they're not.
To be honest i think the authors are smart in writing in a genre that is hugely popular at the moment.
I like this book but i wanted to love it and i couldnt. I would still recommend it, just dont get your hopes up.
But kudos for the cover because its AMAZING!

"You're at a party, you see a girl who fits your profile. How do you let her know you're interested?"
"I study her." Patch said. "I figure out what she's thinking and feeling. She's not going to come right out and tell me, which is why i have to pay attention. Does she turn her body toward mine? Does she hold my eyes, then look away? Does she bit her lip and play with her hair, the way Nora is doing right now?"
Laughter rose in the room. I dropped my hands to my lap.
"She's game," Patch said, bumping my leg again. Of all things i blushed.
"The blood vessels in Nora's face are widening and her skin is warming," Patch said. "She knows she's being evaluated. She likes the attention, but she's not sure how to handle it."
"I am not blushing."
"She's nervous," Patch said. "She's stroking her arm to draw attention away from her fact and down to her figure, or maybe her skin. Both are strong selling points."
I nearly choked. He's joking. No he's insane.
Oh and just for your pleasure, the guy who is Patch on the cover: Drew Doyon.

Lets move onto the thing that keeps me going shall we.... music. Music is the driving force in my life. it has saved my soul more times than i would care to admit.

1. This Is War - Thirty Seconds To Mars
This album blew me away! I mean i have always been a fan so i bought this album when it was first released and cheap of Amazon and I am SO glad that i did.
I adore Jared Leto, i really do. i know that there is some quirkiness to him that gets him in the tabloids but he really has a gift. His voice has so much range and he can sound completely different in two separate songs.
So My favourite songs are tied.
1. Hurricane - Is one of the most moving songs that i have heard in a long time. i love it when you come across a song that you just want to listen to over and over and sometimes you even start it again before it finishes because you dont want it to finish. This is one of those songs, but the version with Kanye West is the one i like more, his autotuned voice fits better in this song than it does in any of his own and the little amount of screaming that Leto does in the song contrasts it perfectly. At the start i didnt know West was featured in the song. And im thinking 'Hmm, Leto sounds way different!' lol, now i know better.  Tell me would you kill to save a life? Tell me would you kill to prove you're right? Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn
This hurricane's chasing us all underground/ No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget No matter how many lies that I live I will never regret There is a fire inside of this heart in a riot about to explode into flamesWhere is your god? Where is your god? Where is your god?
But for me the way that Leto's voice sounds in this part (Do you really want? Do you really want me? Do you really want me dead?Or alive to torture for my sins?) like his heart is actually being ripped from is chest (with West's voice in the background asking for a heartbeat. ) is the stand out moment on the record for me. Why they scratched this version from the final edition is beyond me.
Night Of the Hunter - Is my tie for first place. The beat is crazy infection and the french that translates to night of the hunter and i fear you like the devil, just make it sexier. the remix is a great work out song as well. Best part is Leto whispering Honest to God i will break your heart, tear you to pieces and rip you apart.
2. This Is War - The title track gets me with the lyrics mainly and the build up to the chorus. A warning to the people The good and the evil This is war To the soldier, the civillian The martyr, the victim. Another smart move by TSTM was to hold concerts for their hardcore fans to allow them to listen to some of the songs from the new album before it was released. their cheering is heard as a build up to the song starting at the beginning. awesome effect.
3. Closer to the Edge - Again its all in the beat. The guitars and the drums, ill tell you what Shannen Leto really has a gift. No no i will never forget no no i will never regret no no i will live my life.
4. Stranger In A Strange Land- This song starts off like you expect it to get heavier but then it calms down. But the music is infectious and it leads you in to wanting to listen to the whole song. Enemy of mine, ill fuck you like the devil Violent inside, beautiful and evil. Is a good way to start i think as we dont usually hear TSTM swear. Once the first verse is done it gets back into the heavier beat.
5. Search and Destroy - Excellent bassline and constant drum beat. This song is good, as are the lyrics but the part that makes me like it the most is the choir they have in the background, not singing lyrics but more like 'oh-ah-oh-ah' at one point towards the end of the song, the go completely over Leto, its fantastic.
6. Kings and Queens - The first single is not the stand out for me, though it is still good. and once again using the choir/crowd is a wise move.
The rest of the album features a much slower tune which i dont think really suits Leto's voice and also a instrumental which features the chanting of monks. Another unusual choice.
I adore this album i really do. i have listened to nothing else for three weeks now.
2. Timbaland - Shock Value II
To be perfectly frank this whole album disappointed me. I mean i know Shock Value was alot to live up too but this wasnt very good.
The stand outs are
1. Morning After Dark Feat So Shy and Nelly Furtado. - Ill admit that i do like So Shy's voice. And the song has a cool beat. This is the first released song. and i dont think its doing to well either.
2. Carry Out. Feat Justin Timberlake - Carry Out is the stand out track, as expected when JT and Timbo get together. though i dont really understand the point of the song, "
Take my order because your body like a carry out." do people actually say that. On top of that this is the only song that JT features on unlike the first record which was just as much his as it was Timbo's.
3. If We Ever Meet Again - Feat Katy Perry - Timbo said he wanted something like BEP's I gotta feelin' on his album. Well his attempt is a FAIL. its ok till it gets to the chorus then its just awful
4. Lose Control Feat JoJo- Really really like this track. Its catchy, and is more like Shock Value's sound. And JoJo has a great RnB voice.
5. Ease of the Liquor is the song that Timbo does by himself and its pretty average.
6. Tomorrow in a Bottle feat Chad Kroeger - The song isnt too bad but Chad's voice just doesnt suit the Hip Hop sound. Timbo sounds pretty good though.
7. Long Way Down feat Daughtry - Why did Timbo get rock people for a hip hop record. My mind just cant get around that. He even has a electric guitar riff overruling the hip hop beat. again not awful but not Timbo's sound if you ask me.
8.We Belong to the Music feat. Miley Cyrus - This is were Timbo went waaaaaaaaaaaay wrong. Do you think 21 year old guys are going to want to be playing hip hop through their subwoffers in their skylines and then hear Miley Cyrus come on. Big Mistake. Having said that, i like this song better than the one with Katy Perry's song and i do like Miley's voice even if i hate her.
9. Can You Feel It feat Sebastian and Esthero - Catchy, another of the sound outs on the record.
10.Symphony feat Bran'Nu, Attitude & D.O.E - This is my fave track behind carry out and tying with Lose Control. Timbo sounds like his has a cold in his part but Attitude and D.O.E sound great and Bran'Nu (Previously known as Brandy) does a great job rapping.
11. Meet In The Middle feat Bran'Nu - is again another fine example of Brandy's ability to rap. She is to Shock Value II as Keri Hilson was to Shock Value. i also love how she raps and uses her normal singing voice they sound great next to each other and you would never think that they are the same person.
He tries to do another 'Apologise' with One Republic but it doesnt work. Say Something with Drake has the potential to be really good, but its all Drake. Dont even get me started on what is up with Timothy Where you Been feat Aussie Band Jet.
All in all i am disappointed but i will still listen to the stand outs. Who knows, it might grow on me.



Hello Everybody!
I hope you all had a very good christmas. Sorry i havent checked in in a bit. But you know christmas, no matter who you are or where you are its always going to be busy. So ill go over things that have happened, since then and things im feeling i suppose, like normal. :-)

First things first. My christmas was pretty amazing. As you know my parents are separated. On the 20th of Dec the boy and i went up to my mums new place that she and her fiance have just bought to have christmas with my grandparents and mums Fiance family. Boy was that crazy! S (the fiance) has 4 kids 10 and under so they were going mad for the presents. But then S's 3 sisters with their kids were there to, and even though they are grown up it was still pretty crazy! mum and i didnt do christmas this year because for both of us its been pretty hectic, but the new place is nice (like 200-300 meters to sand!) and it was really good to catch up seeing as i only see her once every couple of months.

Then on the 25th was christmas with my dads side of the family which i really enjoy because we are all so close. and it was the first time that i got to see my aunty since ive been back from Europe and she has done her Everest climb. She said it was half amazing half she didnt know what she was thinking when she agreed to it! But all of my cousins are really good, Im the oldest, and my brother is second (our dad is the oldest of four) and our 5 cousins are all still in school, the youngest one being 9 i think. :-/. But Aunty bought us all stuff back from Everest so we got little keepsakes.

In terms of presents though, of Dad and my Stepmum i got an Amazon Kindle (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Been wanting one for ages) and a leather case for it, chocolate, a book on writing and a mini cupcake kit (its so cute).
Of the relos i got jewelry, stuff so i stop biting my nails, and giftcards.
now the boy and i also agreed not to do christmas this year because he is about to go study and therefore cant work so he is meant to be saving and since i cant find work for some reason i cant be spending money either. But he went and broke the rules and told me on christmas eve so i couldnt go and get him anything! it was only little though as he promised, two books, a facial (which was divine!) and a couple of gag presents (a Stig money box and a pooping penguin).
But the kindle is what im stoked with, i love it!

On the 27th i went with the boy and his family up north as usual, this was our 4th year in a row that we have been going. It was boiling hot on the day that we got there and we needed to set up camp and my face went so red. I swear over the next few days i was applying so much moisturiser! and i was lucky, my nose only peeled the tiniest amount! but after that first day it poured for like the next 3 days. Im talking constant downpour i think it might have let up for about an hour but thats it. Then the last three days it was warm, like swimming hot, but it wasnt that sunny, just humid, which sucks.
But anyway on the first non raining day that we had the boy managed to convince me to come and watch him, his brother and friend surf. So i chucked on a dress grabbed my sunnies and went and sat on a sand dune and read while he surfed (my man is a man of many talents :-)) and because it was cloudy i only put sunscreen on my face. oh boy was that a big mistake! the top part of my back that was exposed to the sun got sooooo red it wasnt that painful at the start, the boy was good putting moisturiser and ice on it but come two days later the day we were leaving, when it was mostly faded it was agonizing. the slightest movement would just sting! and then of course it peeled a little.
We hade NYE up there too, and to be frank, it sucked. The DJ refused to play anything newer than 1995 and whenever anybody jumped on the floor the music would skip. and then he didnt even give us a countdown to Midnight, just said welcome to 2010! so pissed off, so i went and had a shower and the bo and i went to bed.
Then we had a week to ourselves at home before the rest of the family got back which was also nice. Lots of swimming in the pool!

Ive been writing more. Im easily halfway or more through my second book. i didnt take my laptop camping so i bought a notebook and pen and whenever i had a thought i jotted it down. but its piecing together much easier and nicer than my current completed one. Im not worring about chapters or anything just now just separating them with *** and ill piece it all together and name them and add is songs and quotes at the beginning of each chapter as is my tradition!

ok, now i graduated highschool in 2007 and my grade wasnt good enough to get into uni. Over here if that is the case you have to wait until you are 21, or a mature age student, before you can reapply to complete a degree. So i have been looking in how to do that because i will have to apply at the end of this year to start next year. a little nervous and scared because by the time i will be starting ill be 21 and a half and i wont be able to work full time which probably means that the boy and i wont be able to move out until i finish. But we have talked about if i can bring in a little money and he is on a proper wage then he will support me. which is nice and it will probably end up happening because i dont want to be together 10 years before we move out. and ive told him if he still hasnt proposed by 25 i wont be impressed!

so the job thing. Man the economy sucks ever since i got back from Europe i havent been able to find work. Ok let me rephrase that, if i wanted to work full time again i am pretty sure i would have got a job by now, but working full time again when i dont have something like europe to look forward to i think would just depress me again. and while im only seeing the boy on weekends now i know that if i really feel like it i can just up and go and see him. if im tied down by a full time job then i know i will begin to feel down again. I want to work part time so i can write, get this second book finished before i go to uni and dont have time for anything. I also want to try and get my first book out there but i need money to do that! i want to just keep a part time job that will allow me to go to work and uni instead of finding another full time one and having to drop it in a years time. My resume will make me look like the flakiest employee!

Anywho going to jobsearch and write now, or i might eat first.





I saw Avatar, I saw Avatar, I saw Avatar! Man is that the most amazing movie or what? I knew it was going to be long but it really didnt feel like it went for almost three hours. And i loved how they didnt make the fight at the end drag on and on like they do with some movies.

SPECIAL FX: god with a budget of $459 Million as rumored you would hope that they were amazing, and they were, all the facial expressions and the movement, im just in awe of the CGI technology that we have these days. Sigourney Weaver's Avatar looked exactly like her as did the character of Norm. I only saw Sam Worthington some times in his and had a really hard time seeing Zoe Saldana in Neytiri, but never mind. The effects were what was amazing.

The acting was brilliant, and to be honest im a little chuffed that Jim Cameron chose an aussie to head up this master piece, if no one has heard of Sam Worthington before get out there and hire the newest Terminator and get your ass to a cinema to watch Avatar. He was perfect for the role of Jake. He suited the Marine role, the disabled role and the Avatar role. Zoe Saldana was excellent too, a little over the top sometimes in the emotion but i felt the chemistry between Neytiri and Jake. Giovanni Ribisi was also great as the head of the organisation.

STORYLINE: Does Jim Cameron have an awesome mind or what? Like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas who are creators of amazing worlds of their own, i just continue to be baffled as to how they come up with stories like that of the one in Avatar. Pandora looks like an Amazing world. It glows and the creatures, while some are scary most are beautiful. But it just amazes me how someone can say, 'i want this to look like this' and 'this to glow' and 'for these mountains to float' how do you come up with a world like that? To think of a planet name (Pandora) a race name and description (Na'vi, 9foot tall and blue. and dont get me started on the way that the Na'vi can connect themselves to any creature via a fibre optic like thing in their tail. It just makes it so much more spiritual and person. Yet another brilliant idea. ) just this unbelievable world. i cant wrap my head around it. I believe it is also going to be a trilogy.

A masterpiece in true James Cameron form. A must see movie and one that will be talked about for years to come. If James Cameron wasnt already Famous Avatar would have made him.
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Ok, i think i should divulge a little bit of information about myself, not too much but maybe just some random details.
1. My favourite colour (at the moment) is RED.

2.My main aspiration in life is to a published writer.

3.My hobbies include, reading, writing, Cars, Tv and Movies and soccer.

4.My favourite music varies on my moods. But mainly hip hop (Ludacris, T.I, Lil Wayne, Timbaland, Trey Songs, T-Pain) but also more mellow stuff (Plumb, Sia, Kings of Leon, The Script, 16 Frames, matchbox 20, and basically they type of music that they play in One Tree Hill)

5.My favourite Tv Shows, include, but arent limited to, Supernatural, One Tree Hill, The Mentalist, NCIS, Lie To Me, Top Gear, Bones, Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory, Rules of Engagement, The Amazing Race, Gossip Girl, Bondi Rescue, The Vampire Diaries, Entourage, Skins, 90210 and The Tudors.

6.For favourite movies the list would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long so i will give you a few examples: Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy, Oceans 11, Without a Paddle, The Italian Job, Remember The Titans, Somethings Gotta Give, Chocolat, Haven, Hitch, Horton Hears a Who, Monsters Inc, Road to Eldorado, The Emperors New Groove, Life as a House, A Cinderella Story, Prime, Kingdom of Heaven, The Perfect Score (Brian Greenberg is fantastic!), Step Up, A Walk To Remember, She's the Man, Cruel Intentions, The Wedding Date, Green Street Hooligans, The Devil Wears Prada, Fast and The Furious (mainly the second one, but i do like all of them), Honey, Four Brothers, Centre Stage, Bend it like Beckham, Tomb Raider, Bruce Almighty, The Day After Tomorrow. Ok so that was more than a few. So you get the idea, i like Movies!

7.I live by the quote "I Am The Master Of My Fate, I Am The Captain Of My Soul." by William Henley.

8.I Could not live without My Family, the Boy, Writing, Reading, MUSIC, Rain and Storms, Hot Showers and Travel.
The Simple Things

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  • Current Music
    16 Frames - Lets not pretend

Writer's Block: Top ten playlist

What is your top-ten song list? What was it when you were a kid? Is there any overlap?

Thats going to be tough. For me my favorite songs are always the saddest ones. Most of these artist hold more than one song that i love but i will just choose one per artist, In no particular order they are:

1. Lightening Crashes - Live
2.Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
3.Clocks - Coldplay
4.Collide - Howie Day
5. Ride - Cary Brothers
6. Scream - Chris Cornell
7.Scream - Michael & Janet Jackson
8.Hometown Glory - Adele
9. Cut - Plumb
10.Let's Not Pretend - 16 Frames

I think when i was a kid my taste basically consisted of The Spice Girls, Savage Garden (I still love, I want you, To The Moon And Back, Affirmation and A Thousand Words.) , Hanson, Michael Jackson, Madasun, A little bit of Bon Jovi. It was really all over the place, just what was on the radio that i loved. Out of my top ten list Bittersweet Symphony is the song that i have loved for the longest. And the only overlap you will find between now and when i was a kid is the afformentioned Savage Garden songs and good old MJ.

Team Jacob

Hello Everyone!
Well i decided that i wanted to have a little rant about the twilight franchise.
First and foremost, i admit that after Twilight that i was a Team Edward, little hard to be anything else when Jacob was barely in it! But as the series progressed and then i read them a second time around i realised that i truly was a team Jacob. Yes, Edward is the epitome of human(ish) perfection, but to me the character of Jake, while a little more immature, is just so much more fun and so much warmer than the ever careful and somewhat distant Edward. In saying that though i did not want Bella to get with Jacob in the end, i did want her with Edward. I am not a Team Jacob in the sense that i was rooting for Bella and Jacob to get together in the end.
So i liked the Twilight movie enough, apart from the fact that the make-up was freakin' terrible, and as continued in New Moon, the way Kirsten Stewart acts is just annoying. She stutters and stumbles, and stares at Jacob and Edwards mouths all the time. Plus in looks wise she isnt Bella, not to me anyway. Edward, to me isnt close enough to the Edward in the book, he seems a little stiffer, which is why i liked Jacob so much better, he more fun, more smiley.
In New Moon the make-up looks so much better, they dont look like they are wearing face paint! it looks natural, and Taylor Lautner was surprisingly good considering the amount of hype that he needed to live up to.
it was all Team Edward Team Edward when the first movie came out, then some pictures of Taylor Lautner and his FINE new body caused everyone to go Team Jake. I went to buy a Jacob poster at the movies and they were all sold out. (plenty of Edward ones though)
While i agree that Edward is a likable character, i just dont think that Robert Pattinson does him justice. He seems awkward, and while book Edward is cautious he is not awkward, he is more aware of himself and what he does to Bella. I agree with the casting of Edward more than i do of Bella though. But both Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart as people bother me. They do nothing but evade questions (granted they are mainly about weather they are together or not) in interviews, Kirsten never looks like she has put any effort into her appearance and Rob is like a girl with how much he runs his hands through his hair! *Deep Breath*
Ok New Moon the movie i did like, it followed the book quite well, but it just felt a little slow moving for me. But i did enjoy it over all.
Team Jacob!

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Writer's Block: The right fight

What is your proudest life accomplishment so far and why?

That's easy, finishing my book.
Finally after so many years and so much editing and re-writing, to finally be able to type "THE END" was and unbelievable feeling.
Writing is who i am, what i want to do all the time. everything can be written about, and i try to do that. But this book has been such a huge part of me for so long that finishing it was amazing, but sad at the same time. But i know that i have more material in me and i cant wait to feel all of that again.

Random Ramblings

Sometimes ill be watching tv or a movie, listening to music or reading and all of a sudden words start invading my mind, just short little nothings that sound good. so i write them down. so i thought id share some of them here.

"You can only be successful when you are happy and you can only be happy when you are successful. Love is connected to happiness but love is also connected to sadness. Success, happiness, love, sadness. All connected, all part of each and every day that we encounter. Some experience one emotion more than the other and others wont be able to distinguish between any of them. Success, happiness, love, sadness. Is one more important than the other? Do they all need to coincide in order to function? Or are they simply there as a means of expressing ourselves. To FIND love, to EARN success, to MAINTAIN happiness and ENDURE sadness. All are there, all are real..."

"Sometimes YOU are the only reason i write. What i had with you and what i eventually lost hurt me in a way that i didn't think possible for a person as young as i was. But alas, here i am still thinking, still hurting and still using it as a means to vent all of my anger and sadness through the characters that end up like you without me even realising it. You were my first heartbreak, the first thing that made me see the downside in love. You made me realise that despite the fact we got on so well, you weren't who i thought you were. Love is a way to express how you feel to another person, or maybe, several people. But at the time, that didn't matter, i just wanted you to show it to me... I'm still waiting..."

"I'm stronger than you give me credit for... i have to be dont i? ive been around people who put me down and belittle me all my life. its those special few who treat me with love and respect that get my love and respect in return. You say i do nothing... bite me, i work harder than you will ever know just to make sure that i will never end up like you. You are NOT someone to be admired..."

  • Current Music
    Florence And The Machine


My partner M, has a cousin S who is one year younger than him. And when he graduated highschool he decided to join the Army (mainly to piss off his parents i think!) and because we are Australian and dont have as many people in the defence forces like say, America, this was a pretty big deal. Mostly we graduate highschool and then move on to university. S has been in the army for a year now. he is specialising with rifles and plans to become a sniper. He will sign up for 3 years of service at the end of his training in 2010 and will do his first tour of Afghanistan in 2011 for 8 months. And he will return any time that he is required in the 3 years that he has enlisted for. S went to training with a girlfriend back home who at the end of the day couldnt stand the distance and broke it off, even though a week later he got placed about an hour away from her anyway. She still didnt want to be with him. (her loss, he is looking mighty fine with his army boy haircut and camo getup!) S said that for a few weeks there he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, that nothing was worth it anymore and it made it harder to do all the training exercises. So even though the end of this story doesnt end as tragically as S's i still used him as inspiration and i still wanted to try and convey that while men have a tougher exterior and you dont think that they can be hurt that they can. they really can love as passionately and fully as we girls do. And even a big tough guy like S will admit to how much it hurt. I suppose his tour of Afghanistan might just be that much easier without missing her though...
Anyway in keeping with tradition of naming my short stories after the two main characters this one is called 'Brady & Liv.'

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